On Marriage Confirmations And Divorce

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By
The Man Who Saw God Face To Face
Raphael Okechukwu Nweze

1. Friendship, which some people call courtship.
2. Preliminary visits to both families, inter-family visits. 3. Appointing a lead man (onye no n’isi), who serves as a facilitator. One person on each side of the two families.
3. Introductory visit, to present marriage intentions (Iku aka n’uzo).
4. Payment of bride price.
5. Marriage festivity for the kindred (Igbu ewu nna).
6. Traditional marriage (Igba nkwu).
7. Church wedding (English wedding).
8. Registration by government and court (LGA).

1. The person offended should first discus the issue with his/her marriage partner. The other person may not be aware that such a serious matter is going on.
2. Consult the Godparents for advice, before taking the issue to both families. (The Godparents are the couple that signed the register in support of the marriage).
3. Godparents are likely to be more neutral in handling the case, than both families who will like to defend their son or daughter, even when the son or daughter is wrong.
4. If the fail to settle the matter, the lead men should called for. People should not take laws into their hands and jump queue or by-pass constituted authorities, simply because they can do so.
5. That means that the two families concerned should meet to discuss and settle the matter.
6. It is when both families cannot resolve the issue that divorce may be called for, if there are genuine reasons for divorce.
7. In most cases, the reasons for divorce are not sufficient to declare or accept divorce.
8. In marriage, no partner is a slave to the other. Many individuals make the mistake of giving conditions or orders, which are unnecessary.
9. The worst situation, which is unacceptable in heaven and on earth, is refusing or rejecting meetings for peaceful deliberations. Whoever rejects meeting for peaceful deliberation becomes the cause and facilitator of divorce. Such an act of negligence is punishable in hell fire. Be warned.

1. What may be perceived as a fact may tomorrow be proved wrong.
2. By then, several mistakes and problems have been made, which mistakes and problems should have been avoided.
3. One person alone, man or woman, has no veto power to take final decision, because both man and woman (the couple) have equal rights to the marriage.
4. At times, the main cause of problem may be hot temper or unforgiving spirit, by the man or woman. Because of this personality defect, a successful marriage is ruined in haste.
5. The fact that a person is bold, outspoken or has very important relations does not mean that he is right.
6. In some culture, the customs and traditions are greatly to the disadvantage of the woman, mainly because it is the men that dictate the laws. It should no longer be the case. There is need for serious reconsiderations and amendments, especially because of the way men treat their wives nowadays. In Igbo land, once there is divorce, the woman looses all the children to the man. This is heartless and merciless, for it is painful for a woman to loose one child, let alone several children for whom she has labored so much to bring up.
7. It is inhuman and unthinkable to deny a woman the right to see or live with her children, after many years of pregnancy, labor in child care and personal sacrifices, which sacrifice include so many sleepless nights and everyday inconveniences.

1. God may be silent.
2. As if He does not know.
3. It seems He does not know what to do.
4. It seems He will not do anything.
5. As if He cannot do anything.
6. The fact is that God’s judgment is already established as natural laws, which are perfect, universal, impartial and unavoidable.
7. His judgment may not be immediate, but it is usually terrible and unavoidable, when it manifest.
8. For example, the Israelites had to go to Egypt and suffer for 430 years for selling joseph. Likewise, after 630 years God directed King Saul to go and destroy all the people of Amalekites, because the Amalekites refused Israelites passage through the land when the Israelites were coming out from Egypt.
9. Do you see how God’s judgment may take so many years before manifesting. But, then, very terrible and unavoidable.
10. The above points are the reasons why you should be very careful, whenever divorce is called for. Divorce is not as easy as people see it.

1. Marriage is indisolvable, once it is finalized.
2. Grievous consequences follow marriage divorce or unfaithfulness.
3. In many families, the cause of their current problems, hardship and sufferings was the bad treatment meted out to wives divorced or women who were maltreated in that family in the past.
4. Where necessary, a person has to reincarnate to suffer the repercussion of what he did in the present or previous lifetime.
5. In some cases, the gender of the couple is exchanged. The man becomes the woman and the woman becomes the man, if necessary, for the offender to suffer what maltreatment he inflicted on the other partner.
6. Usually, people feel that the man is more powerful, more useful and more resourceful. But in spirit, many women are more powerful, more useful and more resourceful.
7. Etc.

1. He must not be a hot-tempered person.
2. He should have training, skill or specialization in at least two areas of endeavour.
3. Etc.

1. She must be somebody who speaks with good tone, in politeness.
2. She should be diligent in domestic services.
3. Etc.

1. Divorce is not allowed.
2. If a person refuse to continue a marriage, because what he/she is suffering therein, he/she may return to her parents
3. The children shall be free to visit and stay with any of their parents when they want. No partner shall restrict the children’s movement in-between the two partners in marriage.
4. Etc.

1. Unnecessary divorce can cause somebody to be demoted to lower level in spirit. And people can be demoted to animal level, just as it happened to King Nebuchadnezzar.
2. Divorce brings curses and problems in life, which may not be immediately noticeable. The problems include business failures, promise and fail, spiritual stagnation, sickness, disaster or calamities.
3. The bad, harmful and dangerous effects may not be immediate, but certain, if a partner is treated wrongly.
4. Ministers of God who go on family deliverance, in some cases, encounter the ghosts blocking the gateway. The ghosts were people who were maltreated by or in the compound in the past.
5. Many beggars and handicapped people, who were very stubborn, heartless or violent in the past lives, are today paying for what they did then, by being blind, dumb, lame or handicapped. People see these things everyday, and yet do not understand.
6. Divorce can prevent somebody from entering the kingdom of heaven. This is a fact many people neglect to their own deceit and detriment. God said, “Those who practice promise and fail, I am waiting for you in heaven”. People hear or read this statement and think is a light matter, not a serious case. The implications are that such people are unreliable and shall not enter the kingdom of heaven.

1. The family says it is when the man has done the introduction and paid the bride price.
2. The kindred say it is when the man has performed festivity (Igbu ewu nna) for them.
3. The community say it is when the man has done traditional wedding (Igba nkwu).
4. The church say it is when the two have attended church wedding.
5. The government and court says it is when the two have signed their court marriage register.
6. Etc.

1. Making decisions and taking actions, without consulting the right set of people.
2. He jumps (passes ) the 6th person in the order of birth.
3. He jumps (passes ) the 2nd person in the order of birth.
4. He jumps (passes ) the 3rd person in the order of birth.
5. He jumps (passes ) the 4th person in the order of birth.
6. He jumps (passes ) the 5th person in the order of birth.
7. He jumps (passes ) the parents.
8. He jumps (passes ) the uncles.
9. He jumps (passes ) the kindred.
10. He jumps (passes ) the church.
11. He jumps (passes ) the the government and court.
12. Soon, he is threatening. He will do this or He will do that, as if he is the strongest person in the world. He does not want to listen to reasons and explanations.
13. Now and then, he is giving orders and issuing commands to the elders, to the parents and to his seniors, like a person without good home training would do.
14. God is in heaven watching everybody. And many do not know when they turn themselves into wolves and demons, and therefore, cannot inherit the kingdom.
15. The Angels and Saints in heaven see the person as:
    • Disrespectful.
    • Disgraceful.
    • Heartless.
    • Merciless.
    • Foolish.
    • Immature.

1. What are the causes of the marriage problems?
2. What efforts have been made to settle the matter?
3. Were the efforts enough?
4. What errors or offences have been committed by both sides?
5. Are the reasons for calling for divorce right and enough to ask for divorce?
6. Etc.

1. Some families would not accept it just like that.
2. They can go to any extent to render the divorcing husband useless.
3. In the counter acts, violence may erupt or a public show of disgrace may occur

1. The mercies you show today shall be the mercies you shall receive tomorrow.
2. The kindness you render to people in this present lifetime shall be the kindness you shall receive many folds in your future lifetime.
3. The wickedness you do to others in this current lifetime shall unavoidably come your way in subsequent lifetimes.
4. Be Warned.

1. The gift of life.
2. The gift of trust.
3. The gift of mercy.